Is Australia Evil? All Signs Point to "Yes".

Funny Sign
Originally uploaded by tharakan.

I believe this sign is definitive proof that people are finally opening their eyes to the fact that Australia must be watched.

Other MF exclusives on Evil Australia:

• Stingray Coverup
• Steve Irwin Conspiracy
• Australia's Tainted Spinach Plan
• Australia's Evil Koala Army
• Australia's Campaign of Deception
• Australians are Crafty
  

Australia's Evil Koala Army

This week, Australian scientists announced that they were ready to test a contraceptive that would curb a koala population explosion responsible for altering the local ecosystem. According to Forbes, a “device” would be inserted under the Koala’s skin in the same way vets install microchips in domestic pets (real article). Australia MAY be trying to balance the local ecosystem through humane methods. OR, more plausibly, perhaps this is a cover to developing an army of koalas that have been implanted with mind-control chips.

Monkey Fartz has led the charge on uncovering Australia’s evil desire for world domination. Between its cyborg army program (link), role in Steve Irwin’s death (link), stingray coverup (link), and possible contamination of the world’s spinach supply (link); is is so far-fetched to believe they are now building an Evil Koala Army to do their bidding. Look at the facts:

• Almost Every Zoo Has Several Koalas
• Koalas Are Native Only to Australia
• Scientists will be Implanting Koalas with Microchips
• Australia is evil and bent on world domination…

…ALL FACTS! We at Monkey Fartz submit that the Australian government is implanting and exporting mind-controlled koalas to create sleeper-cells around the world. Think about it. Who would expect a cute, fluffy koala of subversive paramilitary activity? Forewarned is forearmed. Keep a vigilant lookout for suspicious koalas. Your very liberty could depend on it.

Tainted Spinach--Part of Australia's Master Plan

Tainted spinach has been a widely-covered topic in the news recently. From Today’s Wyoming’s Star-Tribune:

“On its way to supermarket shelves, bagged spinach passes from field to packing plant to store, with several opportunities along the journey for it to become contaminated with deadly E. coli bacteria.

This complex chain is making it hard to identify the precise source of the outbreak that has killed one person and sickened at least 108 others around the country.”

Is this simply a case of accidental contamination? That’s what the “mainstream media” would LIKE you to believe. The truth is far more sinister—Australia needs spinach for its Super Cyborg Soldier program (see Monkey Fartz Australia Expose’ More Proof)

It’s a widely-known fact that spinach causes an immediate increase in strength, bravery, and fighting prowess (links 1 2) This could be JUST the boost the Australian Super Cyborgs need to gain the advantage. The photos bleow are believed to have been leaked from within a Super Top Secret research facility:

Need more proof? First, Australia has had ZERO cases of e.coli infected spinach. Second, why is Australia's well-known spinach crop SUSPICIOUSLLY absent from the CIA World Fact Book (link). Finally, any country who would “take out” one of its most beloved celebrities will stop at nothing to reach its goal of world domination. Keep vigilant...an Austrlian Army of Cybrog Popeyes may be coming to a neighborhood near you.

Disclaimer: For those of you who are satirically-challenged, this is not a SERIOUS piece.

Stingray Deaths: Revenge or Cover-Up

According to CNN, at least 10 stingrays have been found dead and mutilated along Australia's eastern coast (link). Monkey Fartz recently presented several theories implicating Australia in a plot for worldwide domination (link). This in-depth report suggested that Australia has bionically-enhanced assassin stingrays. Are these recent stingray deaths revenge over the loss of Steve Irwin? Or, more logically, are these deaths proof of a large-scale coverup of the Bionic Stingray Assassin Army? You be the judge, but the evidence is overwhelming.

Irwin's Death is Not an Accident

While the entire world is mourning the loss of popular naturalist Steve Irwin, MFRTZ has been digging into the mysterious circumstances surrounding his death. Was Irwin’s death a freak accident involving a peaceful ocean dweller? Or, more plausibly, was he caught in a web of international intrigue and plots for world domination? Let’s examine the facts:

Fact 1—Cyborg Army
In a 28AUG06 post, MFRTZ “broke” a story in which Australia had ostensibly lowered its recruiting standards for the Army to include the overweight and arthritic (link). On the surface, this may seem like a silly way to build a force capable of global conquest. However, Australia has been one of the leading countries in bionic/cyborg research for years. Just last week, Austrlia’s Bionic Eye Foundation publicized trials of a bionic eye implant (link). Australia’s Cochlear, Ltd. Is a world leader in bionic ear technology (link). And these are only the non-classified programs. The only logical conclusion is that Australia is building an army of cyborgs. What else would a cyborg army be used for other than world domination?

Fact 2—NASA Moon Hoax Blackmail
There has been a lot of recent press surrounding the loss of thousands of NASA tapes containing Moon Landing footage (link). What is not widely known is that the footage on the “moon landing” was being beamed from Australia to the United States (link). Some may claim this was because Australia was better-equipped to receive the raw signals for silly “scientific” reasons I won’t go into here. The only logical conclusion is that Australia staged the whole moon landing hoax for the U.S. and subsequently blackmailed the nation into doing its bidding: Vietnam, Gulf War I&II, acceptance of Fosters, the “War on Terror”…the list goes on. Far fetched? Perhaps…but no more so than the popularity of Paul Hogan movies.

Fact 3—The Manchurian Stingray
Stingrays are, by nature, very peaceful creatures (link). Despite a rather intimidating stinger, there have been only 17 (18 now) recorded deaths by stingray…ever! A common tourist attraction in the Cayman Islands (link) proves just how safe this creatures are. A man who routinely tangled with crocodiles, snakes, and other dangerous beasties certainly wouldn’t have been taken down by a stingray. That is unless, of course, the stingray was genetically and bionically enhanced by the super-secret Australian cyborg program. It’s the only plausible explanation. Why Steve Irwin? Here’s where it all comes together.

Bringing it All Together
Anyone who has seen Steve Irwin’s Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course has been exposed to the truth. In the movie, Irwin—playing himself—runs across CIA agents (whom he mistakes as poaches) trying to retrieve a top-secret satellite beacon from a crocodile (link) The plot is too crazy to have been pure fiction. I believe Irwin uncovered evidence of Australia’s involvement with the Moon Hoax and world domination plot (via Aussie cyborgs). The movie is obviously a warning to the world. The signs are subtle…but there. I believe he knew too much, said too much…and was subsequently killed for it by a CIA-trained, Aussie-augmented stingray.

We post our findings at great risk to ourselves. We’ll continue our research and post what we find. The world must know the truth.

digg story

Australia's Continuing Campaign of Deception

According to Reuters, Lieutenant-General Peter Leahy (head of Australia's army) stated that the army is lowering recruiting standards in order to "boost troop numbers to combat regional instability". Regional instability? Please. I think it's obvious that Australia is continuing its long-standing campaign of deception in support of its ultimate goal--World Domination. It's the only logical conclusion.

To all of you nay-sayers, let me first assure you that my tin-foil hat is completely operational. The eveidence of Australia's true intentions has been mounting for years. The popularity of Paul Hogan, Foster's Beer, koala bears, Steve Irwin (Crocadile Hunter) and Elle MacPherson were always suspect. Well...maybe not the beer and supermodel, but almost certainly the rest.

Last week, video evidence surfaced that the Aussies are actively testing a troop insertion device to gain access to high-payoff target sites. Granted, all of the sites were in Australia and "Chaser's War on Everything" presented it as a humor piece, but that shows you JUST how crafty the Aussies are.

This latest news about "lowering recruiting standards" is even more alarming. The subtle message here is that "even our fat and asthmatic soldiers are better than yours." I think we better keep our collective eye on them, or soon we'll find ourselves playing AUSTRALIAN rules football, swilling beer, and singing rowdy drinking songs.

The Australians are Crafty: Trojan Horse

On the surface, the Australian show "Chaser's War on Everything" sets out to see if anyone had learned not to "look a gift horse in the mouth". Comedy? Perhaps. But I think there is a much more logical explanation--terrorist probing. Is it merely coincidence that are probing critical infrastrcuture: army base, television station, a national landmark...even a race track? Watch and be the judge!

I submit we've been on the receiving end of a long-term systematic Pro-Aussie brainwashing program. You may say I am paranoid, but can you explain the popularity of the Paul Hogan movies if subliminal messages weren't used? Why else would Fosters Beer commercials teach us the Australian definition of several common phrases if they weren't socializing us for invasion? It's probably too late to fight it...so I, for one, welcome our Down-Under Overlords.