Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Irwin's Death is Not an Accident

While the entire world is mourning the loss of popular naturalist Steve Irwin, MFRTZ has been digging into the mysterious circumstances surrounding his death. Was Irwin’s death a freak accident involving a peaceful ocean dweller? Or, more plausibly, was he caught in a web of international intrigue and plots for world domination? Let’s examine the facts:

Fact 1—Cyborg Army
In a 28AUG06 post, MFRTZ “broke” a story in which Australia had ostensibly lowered its recruiting standards for the Army to include the overweight and arthritic (link). On the surface, this may seem like a silly way to build a force capable of global conquest. However, Australia has been one of the leading countries in bionic/cyborg research for years. Just last week, Austrlia’s Bionic Eye Foundation publicized trials of a bionic eye implant (link). Australia’s Cochlear, Ltd. Is a world leader in bionic ear technology (link). And these are only the non-classified programs. The only logical conclusion is that Australia is building an army of cyborgs. What else would a cyborg army be used for other than world domination?

Fact 2—NASA Moon Hoax Blackmail
There has been a lot of recent press surrounding the loss of thousands of NASA tapes containing Moon Landing footage (link). What is not widely known is that the footage on the “moon landing” was being beamed from Australia to the United States (link). Some may claim this was because Australia was better-equipped to receive the raw signals for silly “scientific” reasons I won’t go into here. The only logical conclusion is that Australia staged the whole moon landing hoax for the U.S. and subsequently blackmailed the nation into doing its bidding: Vietnam, Gulf War I&II, acceptance of Fosters, the “War on Terror”…the list goes on. Far fetched? Perhaps…but no more so than the popularity of Paul Hogan movies.

Fact 3—The Manchurian Stingray
Stingrays are, by nature, very peaceful creatures (link). Despite a rather intimidating stinger, there have been only 17 (18 now) recorded deaths by stingray…ever! A common tourist attraction in the Cayman Islands (link) proves just how safe this creatures are. A man who routinely tangled with crocodiles, snakes, and other dangerous beasties certainly wouldn’t have been taken down by a stingray. That is unless, of course, the stingray was genetically and bionically enhanced by the super-secret Australian cyborg program. It’s the only plausible explanation. Why Steve Irwin? Here’s where it all comes together.

Bringing it All Together
Anyone who has seen Steve Irwin’s Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course has been exposed to the truth. In the movie, Irwin—playing himself—runs across CIA agents (whom he mistakes as poaches) trying to retrieve a top-secret satellite beacon from a crocodile (link) The plot is too crazy to have been pure fiction. I believe Irwin uncovered evidence of Australia’s involvement with the Moon Hoax and world domination plot (via Aussie cyborgs). The movie is obviously a warning to the world. The signs are subtle…but there. I believe he knew too much, said too much…and was subsequently killed for it by a CIA-trained, Aussie-augmented stingray.

We post our findings at great risk to ourselves. We’ll continue our research and post what we find. The world must know the truth.

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