Tainted Spinach--Part of Australia's Master Plan

Tainted spinach has been a widely-covered topic in the news recently. From Today’s Wyoming’s Star-Tribune:

“On its way to supermarket shelves, bagged spinach passes from field to packing plant to store, with several opportunities along the journey for it to become contaminated with deadly E. coli bacteria.

This complex chain is making it hard to identify the precise source of the outbreak that has killed one person and sickened at least 108 others around the country.”

Is this simply a case of accidental contamination? That’s what the “mainstream media” would LIKE you to believe. The truth is far more sinister—Australia needs spinach for its Super Cyborg Soldier program (see Monkey Fartz Australia Expose’ More Proof)

It’s a widely-known fact that spinach causes an immediate increase in strength, bravery, and fighting prowess (links 1 2) This could be JUST the boost the Australian Super Cyborgs need to gain the advantage. The photos bleow are believed to have been leaked from within a Super Top Secret research facility:

Need more proof? First, Australia has had ZERO cases of e.coli infected spinach. Second, why is Australia's well-known spinach crop SUSPICIOUSLLY absent from the CIA World Fact Book (link). Finally, any country who would “take out” one of its most beloved celebrities will stop at nothing to reach its goal of world domination. Keep vigilant...an Austrlian Army of Cybrog Popeyes may be coming to a neighborhood near you.

Disclaimer: For those of you who are satirically-challenged, this is not a SERIOUS piece.