Australia's Evil Koala Army

This week, Australian scientists announced that they were ready to test a contraceptive that would curb a koala population explosion responsible for altering the local ecosystem. According to Forbes, a “device” would be inserted under the Koala’s skin in the same way vets install microchips in domestic pets (real article). Australia MAY be trying to balance the local ecosystem through humane methods. OR, more plausibly, perhaps this is a cover to developing an army of koalas that have been implanted with mind-control chips.

Monkey Fartz has led the charge on uncovering Australia’s evil desire for world domination. Between its cyborg army program (link), role in Steve Irwin’s death (link), stingray coverup (link), and possible contamination of the world’s spinach supply (link); is is so far-fetched to believe they are now building an Evil Koala Army to do their bidding. Look at the facts:

• Almost Every Zoo Has Several Koalas
• Koalas Are Native Only to Australia
• Scientists will be Implanting Koalas with Microchips
• Australia is evil and bent on world domination…

…ALL FACTS! We at Monkey Fartz submit that the Australian government is implanting and exporting mind-controlled koalas to create sleeper-cells around the world. Think about it. Who would expect a cute, fluffy koala of subversive paramilitary activity? Forewarned is forearmed. Keep a vigilant lookout for suspicious koalas. Your very liberty could depend on it.