10 Things You Never Want to Hear on a Flight

10) “The pilot has locked himself out of the cockpit” (article)
9) “Think we could storm the cockpit?”
8) “What’s that flaming streak coming towards our plane?”
7) Any child…at any age.
6) Air Marshall: "Has anyone seen my gun?”
5) “Ever seen a grown man naked?”
4) “Today’s in-flight double feature will be ‘Little Man’ and ‘White Chickz’”
3) “Ladies and gentlemen, on the left side of the plane you’ll see…umm…that’s not supposed to be there.”
2) “Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior?”
1) Any Arabic phrase being yelled.

Honorable Omissions:

• “There’s m*********ing snakes on the m*********ing plane.”
• “Hi, I’m Bill O’Reilly”
• “Excuse me, but you wouldn’t happen to have anything sharp and pointy, would you?”
• “Are you sure there’s enough fuel?”
• “Have you ever seen that blinking light before?” (Pilot)
• “Shut up and just light that thing!”