Thursday, April 26, 2007

10 Sure Fire Ways to Increase Your Blog Traffic

1. Discover the cure for a serious disease (e.g. cancer, diabetes, erectile dysfunction, etc.) and release the details exclusively (and incrementally) on your blog.

2. Buy Google, Yahoo, and MSN and have ALL queries return your blog as the #1 pick.

3. Pact with Satan.

4. Instead of reporting the news...MAKE the news. (Note: In addition to #1 on this list, consider invading foreign countries on false pretenses...guaranteed traffic booster).

5. One Word: Manifesto.

6. Two Words: Free Porn

7. Create a blog-based religion and tell your followers that they will go to Hell unless they bring 10 new followers a day. (Note: This takes awhile to generate traffic, but the cumulative effect is awesome...and being a cult leader has its perks...until the very end.)

8. Create a blog dedicated to increasing blog traffic...despite having no experience, actionable advice, expertise, or tools.

9. Conduct a coup in a country with high per capita internet access, become a ruthless dictator, and order all citizens to access your blog daily or face the Death Squads.

10. Try to create interesting, original content that appeals to a wide audience....wait, that would never work. Just add porn!

Please share your ideas. There is a 99.9% probability your answers will be funnier...if not more useful.

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