Saturday, September 02, 2006

Pedophilia Unprofitable--MySpace Opening Online Music Store

Largely due to a series of highly-publicized arrests (1) (2) (3) of MySpace predators, ad revenue generated by its once large pedophile base is now virtually non-existent.

To replace this crucial revenue stream, MySpace announced of Friday that it is going to offer an online music store with songs from over 3 million unsigned bands. An anonymous MySpace insider said this move was a natural evolution from its core business model of “exploitation and profiteering”. He went on to say, “This is really going to be a win-win for us. We can continue to exploit our teen user base—legally this time—while taking advantage of unsigned bands. Both will do exactly what we tell them to. Neither group is particularly intelligent or good with money.”

When asked about a new competitor on the block, an Apple spokesperson said, “Good luck to…who was it again? We’ll be ok. Our customers are smarter, better looking, hipper, and more affluent.”

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Brine it if you can. If its frozen and you choose to thaw in fridge it may take up to a week. My mom swore by the paper bag cooking method. My prof in cooking school said upside down. We do a spin on Tyler Florence’s maple and bacon, and we use turkey bacon.

Ignore the pop up timer and forget frying it. If you want to have a surprize, try a turducken. Simple stuffing ( rice based or Rachel Ray’s cranberry muffin stuffing are good).

Don’t overload the table. Use everything…even making turkey soup with the bones. No turkey lasts as long as the jokes say…2 meals tops.

And, let the poor thing rest at least 30 minutes. Then no one should complain about being dry.
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